Memorial Days and the tough questions

Anzac Memorial Day is today, April 25th. Anzac stands for Australian and New Zealand Army Corps. This memorial day started as a day of rememberance for the Anzacs who lost their lives during the Gallipoli campaign. Today though it serves as a rememberance day for all those brave soldiers who have and still serve and often times lost their lives fighting for our respective countries. Just last week we comemorated Yom Hashoah, Holocaust memorial day. Today is also Yom Hazikaron, the national Memorial day in Israel.

While reflecting on the lives lost, the wounded, the brave who today are still fighting and risking their lives for us, I've also been thinking how I will talk to my children about these important days when they are older. I think that Memorial days such as today, offer a platform for the start of a dicussion. How young is too young to address it though?

Many children who have parents serving today, I would imagine, are exposed to such things quite young. My parents generation dealt with the direct aftermath of WWII and the horrors of the Holocaust. My grandparents were, thank God, in Canada but those their age lived though it. It seems war affects each generation. That this horrible and harsh reality is so "in your face" today, is it inevitable that our children will be made aware of it at a very young age?

As our children get older and grow in maturity we'll be able to talk more openly about it, but with those first awkward questions, what do we say to them? How do you explain war, death and cruelty to children? When should you bring it up and how? I am probably years away from answering uncomfortable questions about war and the Holocaust but it will happen and I worry about saying the wrong things. How does a parent address such an important and serious issue without traumatizing their young one? War is a sensitive subject for grown adults let alone children. It's likely that they ask questions that I still ask myself. "Why do bad things happen to good people," sort of questions. There's the traditional Jewish response but it's so in depth no one can expect a child to wrap their minds around such a concept. We teach our children that good behaviour is rewarded and bad behaviour has negative consequences. The world doesn't always work that way. It's a reality most adults I know, including myself, are uncomfortable with.
This year our family didn't go to the 5am dawn service ( it didn't seem wise only four days away from my due date,) but it is something we'll make an effort to do in the future. My husband has relatives on the memorial wall in our city and it's something we will share with our children with great pride. While I may not know how exactly I will talk to my children about war I, myself, will spend time today reflecting, thinking of the lives and the lives of the families affected by war.

Lest we forget.